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The Theran Mystique - Volume 2, Issue 6
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Long have I been on hiatus, researching many long forgotten tongues, so that
I can decipher the words which have befuddled many. These words are power-
ful words of many fantastic dishes! Here is one of the first translations
which I put on this scroll now!
Stone Giant Brain Pate with Elf Crackers
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Ingredients Needed:
1 stone giant (More if you have more than 10 guests)
3 elves (they are small, frail things with little meat on their bones)
1 pig (no one likes the texture of ground stone giant brain)
garlic
curry
1 whole onion
basil
salt
pepper
sugar
flour
magic gnome powder (for the crackers)
1 tub of lard
Method:
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Using a sharp implement, or a large rock, crack the skull of the stone giant.
Remove the brain (yes it is very very small) but it is enough for your purposes.
Using a mortar and pestle, grind the brain into a thick paste. Add in pig parts
to help the digusting texture that this produces. It also helps with the tangy
taste of rocks. Add equal amounts of garlic, curry, basil, salt and pepper.
Add one whole onion, diced. Resume mashing. Sprinkle 2 pinches of sugar over
top and mash again for 5 minutes. Do not overmash.
Take the elf corpses, and shave off whatever meat you can find. Slice the elf
bits very very fine, as you will be combining it with dry ingredients. Throw all
the finely cut elf bits into a bowl, add lots of flour and water. Mix furiously
until it is consistent. Flatten onto a baking tray, and cut them into small squares
while on the tray. Bake for 10 minutes, no longer.
Now you can spread your stone giant brain pate on the elf crackers and enjoy!
Wysren Honeydew, Master Chef
PS The tub of lard is needed to eat the entire thing, because it is alot of food!
(Continued in talkback2)
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