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Nephit's Secret to World Domination.
I was sitting in North Square quietly one day when Nephit snuck up and whispered in my ear some very, very odd words. "Hey, buddy ol' pal," he murmured, "I know just the thing to get rid of every evil in Thera!" And thus he proceeded to impart to me his Master Plan for the Domination of Light. That's right, you walkers of the shadows, he has a plan to wreck you all! Haha! Ahaha! Ahahaha... And what is this new weapon of mass dark-destruction, you ask? What is his absolute secret of secrets? I watched with amazement and wonder as his lips slowly and clearly formed these oh-so-hallowed words: THE FUZZY PINK BUNNY. Yes indeedy, you heard it correctly. Nephit has announced to me proudly that he is the new Crusader of the Fuzzy Pink Light. "Constant exposure to these creatures will eventually break down the mental barriers any villain may have," he proclaimed as he frolicked in his field full of bunnies. "It will either drive them insane..." he paused to fling a bunny in the air gleefully, "or convert them entirely! ...Remember that. It could come in useful someday." Yes indeed, Nephit, we lightwalkers shall henceforth never leave home without our trusty bunny sidekicks! But wait! There's more! "A new world order [will arise]," Nephit continued with the red haze of Aruncus' cigars lighting his eyes in a zealous frenzy. "With the sign of the pink bunny as the symbol uniting all good peoples of Thera. We all need to work together for this to be successful!" With a happy cavorting dance, he went on, "Did you know, this is one of the very few pink creatures in Thera! Know why? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?" I could only manage to shake my head in response. "Davairus hates the color pink!" Nephit chortled mischievously. "So did Deiminos! These bunnies are going to free us all!! And THAT'S why Istina kills them when he sees em!" (Oh, Istina... he's discovered your secret phobia! But don't worry! You can slay all the yummy pink bunnies you want. And y'know what? He can't stop you!) With these last words of wisdom, Nephit disappeared in a nimbus of light. "Spread the word," his voice echoed in my head as he departed. "And I'm not nuts, so don't say I am." Scribed by Ellora, the Gnome's Ghost-Perch. Disclaimer: Information in this article in no way represents the views of the writer, Heralds, or any of their affiliates. It is pure, 100% Nephitism hand-selected for your personal enjoyment. |
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