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Duergars: Grumpy Cause They Wanna Be
Lets see... Angry, short, kinda pudgy, don't like water, spells bounce right off em, and they smell like the inside of a fire giants pack sack, that's duergars all right. Sound familiar? Here's another clue They've all got beards, even the women. Yup, Duergars are just like dwarves. Hell man, they ARE dwarves. It begs the question doesn't it? Why are they called Deurgars? There's an answer to that, one that involves history, and war, and eternal hatred, and all that other scholarly nonsense, but I'll just say this: duergars are nuts. It's true, take a normal, sane dwarf, make him smoke about seven of Aruncus's "special" cigars, tie him up, and lock him in a room with eight or nine hyperactive halflings, and I promise what walks out will be a duergar. Now, I'm not trying to say anything BAD about them, some of my best friends are duergars, (or, they were before I wrote this article) they can actually be decent guys, it's just... Well, here's a short list of subjects to avoid while trying to befriend one of these guys: 1. Dwarves (unless you enjoy hours of maniacal ranting) 2. Baths (just hold your nose and sit down wind) 3. Long exiles in underground caverns (unless you enjoy removing large objects from small orifices on your body) Lets see, what else... I should probably mention that duergars REALLY enjoy their ale, (even more than dwarves, if that's possible) and, well, a little bit of gold will go a lot further with them than a whole heap of love and understanding. It's just the way they are. And there you have it: Duergars. So come on folks! Break out your wallets, slip on your "I hate dwarves" tunic, and let your favorite duergar know you care. |
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