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Gnomes: Pint Sized Supermen, or Megalomaniacle grease spots?
The biggest problem with understanding gnomes is the fact that they don't really want anyone to. You see, gnomes LOVE to talk, but they hate to tell people anything. Take our own little despot, Dabilor, for instance, I've spent DAYS interviewing this guy, and you know what I learned? Nothing! That's because he's ultra paranoid about saying anything about anything. Seems to think "revealing sensitive information" about his race would open them up to "hostile exploitation". I tried to tell him everyone all ready knew about the fire giant + HUGE stone club = hours of gnome whacking fun trick, but he just glared at me and started talking about the best way to dispose of a pile of giant corpses. It isn't just Dabilor though, the whole bashing issue has most every gnome in Thera looking over their shoulder and muttering things about "Mace Control", and "Protective Shields For Every Class. Ply them with a few cigars, and the real story starts to come out. I tried this little trick on a gnome invoker, name of Jojuk. He's pretty cool to smoke with by the way, even if he doesn't see the caterpillar. Anyway, It was only a couple of minutes before he was "spilling his guts" as it were, about how tired he was of spilling his guts. "Everyones always chasing you around with maces and clubs and such," he said, "... But I wouldn't ever want to be anything BUT a gnome..." It could have just been me, but that second statement seemed a lot less sincere than the first one. So, What else is there to being a gnome besides hiding from clubs and thinking nasty thoughts about giants? Well, whatever time they have left over is usually spent lusting for power. Not the most positive of habits, I know, but believe me, that's the way they are. Maybe it's because they get beat on so much, or it could be a certain maniacal pride they all seem to share in their race, but whatever the reason, just about every gnome wants to rule. Not the least of them is our little Dabilor, and his somewhat overzealous (even for a gnome) lackey, Nym. Even complete lack of success on any level doesn't seem to slow them down or break their spirit. Call it hard headedness, call it arrogance, or call it the result of being hit a few too many times with a HUGE stone club. The fact remains, our clumsy little brothers will always be looking to control Thera. Ah well, whatever the reason, whatever their ambition, gnomes are still children of Thera, just like the rest of us man, and that means we should treat them with understanding. You know, if that's your thing.. Gnome Miscommunications It is no secret that in Thera we gnomes die like lemmings. The greatest reason for this has to do with giants not watching where they are walking, or loose clubs falling from sacks. The second leading cause, however, can be attributed to a miscommunication between two conflicting languages. The problem arises where words in gnomish and words in common are pronounced the same way but have profoundly different meanings. For example, the gnomish statement "I will crush your bones into dust!" Can be translated into common as "You look like a formidable companion, would you please be my friend? . Now since very few people other than gnomes speak gnomish it is no surprise that this innocent, if not flattering statement is taken in the wrong manner. This sort of scenario is quite occurent in Thera. In order to help educate you, and prevent countless deaths of the Gnarian nation, I will make a short list of gnomish to common translations. Die - "Hello" I will kill you in your sleep - "Pleasant dreams" Son of a whore - "Your mother is charming" You smell like a horse's ass - "What perfume do you use? It is quite exotic" I could kill you in my sleep - "I will watch over you while you sleep" I've paid an assassin to have you killed - "Pleasant day isn't it? I hope it won't rain" You fight like a woman - "Your fighting style is very unique" Jerouniset must die - "I find lizards to be fascinating" Knights should not violate their steeds- "Knights have a most peculiar way of grooming their stallions" I hope these translations help you in your travels. If requested I will compile a list of more gnomish to common translations. Continued in 'HistoryB' |
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