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The Theran Mystique - Volume 1, Issue 7
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The Slith and The Swamp (a match made in heaven):
I have to say I know quite a bit about sliths. You see, I (Jerouniset)
am a slith, so I've spent a lot of time around them. The first thing
you'll notice about us is that we like to stay to ourselves. A lot of
people think that is because we're cranky and elitist. Nothing could be
further from the truth. We sliths like to hang solo because we are
contemplative creatures by nature. We like to sit on our favorite rock in
the middle of the swamp, watch the mosquitoes buzz around, and reflect on
life, happiness, fighting, peat bogs, whatever. When we're with other
races, it gets a lot harder to stay connected. Example:
Sam the Slith: Hey Freddy, why do you suppose we're all here? I mean,
what's the point?
Freddy the Fire Giant: GHHAAAA! YOU DIE NOW! ME BASH YOUR
BRAINS IN!!!!
You see? Lack of understanding.
Now that we have the major stereotype out of the way, let me lay a few
more myths to rest. Sliths are NOT slimy, we have dry leathery skin. Sliths
do NOT eat bugs, we eat slabs of beef like everyone else when we're in
town. Sometimes we are forced to dine on carrion when we are far from
civilization. Sliths tails will NOT grow back if you cut them off (so cut
that out ok). And no, not all sliths partake of the strange, thick cigars. Only
the cool ones do.
Let me wrap up this essay by saying that as a whole, we reptiles are fairly
lenient when it comes to morality (seems like everyone is obsessed with a
'moral path' these days, not sure whats up with that). There is a lot more to
say about us, but look, I only have so much material to work with, I'd like to
be able to revisit this topic if I have to.
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