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The Slith and The Swamp (a match made in heaven):
I have to say I know quite a bit about sliths. You see, I (Jerouniset) am a slith, so I've spent a lot of time around them. The first thing you'll notice about us is that we like to stay to ourselves. A lot of people think that is because we're cranky and elitist. Nothing could be further from the truth. We sliths like to hang solo because we are contemplative creatures by nature. We like to sit on our favorite rock in the middle of the swamp, watch the mosquitoes buzz around, and reflect on life, happiness, fighting, peat bogs, whatever. When we're with other races, it gets a lot harder to stay connected. Example: Sam the Slith: Hey Freddy, why do you suppose we're all here? I mean, what's the point? Freddy the Fire Giant: GHHAAAA! YOU DIE NOW! ME BASH YOUR BRAINS IN!!!! You see? Lack of understanding. Now that we have the major stereotype out of the way, let me lay a few more myths to rest. Sliths are NOT slimy, we have dry leathery skin. Sliths do NOT eat bugs, we eat slabs of beef like everyone else when we're in town. Sometimes we are forced to dine on carrion when we are far from civilization. Sliths tails will NOT grow back if you cut them off (so cut that out ok). And no, not all sliths partake of the strange, thick cigars. Only the cool ones do. Let me wrap up this essay by saying that as a whole, we reptiles are fairly lenient when it comes to morality (seems like everyone is obsessed with a 'moral path' these days, not sure whats up with that). There is a lot more to say about us, but look, I only have so much material to work with, I'd like to be able to revisit this topic if I have to. |
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