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The Theran Mystique - Volume 1, Issue 6
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A Tale of the Mansion of the Malevolent
In the far western reaches of Thera, where few mortals dare to tread, unless
they are bold of heart, spirited, or so dogged mercenary, and lustful for gold
they care not what hazards their lives might be subjected to in an expedition,
stands the foulest, most evil ruin that ever was upon the face of Thera. In this
ruin, who's very name expresses the black purposes of the evil residents within,
Mansion of the Malevolent, are hidden piles of gold, and treasure, to make any mortal
with a sword, sick with greed, and breathless with anticipation to line their
pockets with its untold wealth. The journey itself is treacherous. One proceeds
down the western road, where devils, knaves, and villains lay in wait for the
unsuspecting passer by, then leap out upon them with murderous intent. If you
pass on to Haon Dor, your luck will fare no better, and from thence to Drkshyre
Wood! Little need be said about the dangerous arachnids that spin their webs
among the black trunks and tangling underbrush of Drkshtyre. If a passing Gnoll
does not rend and tear your flesh, or a hairy spider make a meal of your blood then a
little further north, and west the malarious, and putrid waters of the River Azial
will give you much pleasure, I'm sure.
Despite all of these ills, I found myself in the company of a dwarf, and a crafty
bard on the western road to the mansion. The dwarf, who's name was Dimwor, was
a ferocious berserker. I had met him at a tavern in Seringale the night before.
Admittedly, your chances for finding suitable, and reliable companions, for an
expedition drastically spiral downwards, when gambling away your life savings
in a bawdy house at the same time. However, luck was on my side, in that regard
if not at the tables. I was having a terr-i-ble run! As the licentious spinner
raked away my stakes, this pretentious dwarf roared with laughter, and delight
at a side table. He was apparently quite entertained with my sour luck. I shot
him an angry glance, "Whats so jolly about losing thousands of gold crowns, my
dwarf? He drank out of a tankard, and spat,...hrmmm,...first of all,...I'm
nawt,...'my dwa'rf' as you say,....the names Dimwor,...or Dim fa'r short."
All right then Dim-wor,..., I prattled on, "Whats so amusing?" He tossed his
tankard across the room, and flipped over his table. He began shouting things
in dwarven that I could not comprehend, but I'm sure they had naught to do with
my good health. He drew a sword, and advanced towards me. I turned and drew as
well. One look at his face told me I'd made a critical error in engaging him. I
would have to rely on diplomacy to save my hide. I stammered, "I don't suppose,
it would dissuade you from tearing me limb from limb,...to know that...I was prenticed'
to Dr.Broondale attorney at law for 6 months?" He sternly replied 'not a hoot'
eh-hem,....well, not even the fact that I would slap an action of battery on you?
He chuckled, and it sent a shiver down my yellow back,..."Battery, my arse,...you're
not gonna be walkin' out of here to slap nothin' boy'o, so grab your swoard and get
ta swingin' in a huarry." My hand moved down to my scabbard, and I clutched the hilt of
my elemental sword, but my other hand, also at my side, felt a pair of spectacles
in my pocket, which I immediately drew out, "Then, I'm afraid I'll have to throw
human dignity to the four winds, and make the universal appeal for mercy." I propped
the spectacles on my nose.
The outbreak of laughter that ensued shook the whole tavern, and even Dimwor had to
smirk a little. A bard that had been observing the scene,...indeed, as the whole tavern
had been riveted to us, jumped down from the bartop where he was seated and heartily shook
my hand. "Heres a third for our expedition, Dim, or I'll be hanged...haw haw" His name was
Yor, a human of around my age. He was a dashing fellow with a snappy repertoire. He was
the first bard I'd ever met, and I can tell you, traveling with bard, is the only way
to travel! As we bounded along over the highway, and through the wood we got to know
each other better and better, and became fast friends. Dimwor, much to my surprise
was actually not the brawling sort, though still a dwarf and ill-tempered. He was
however, a lightwalker, and a good soul. His fiercest desire, was to squelch evil
wherever it reared its ugly head. "And,...", he said, "what better place to crack a few
dark skulls than Malovent? eh? he he he!" Dimwor and Yor expounded upon the legends of
Vlad the Impaler, and the Mansion of the Malevolent as we traveled, and of the
hideous 'mutant trolls' that inhabited the dungeon floor of the house. These were
to be our primary prey, for they were evil incarnate,...and their hoarded treasures
were great besides!
Soon, we were before her. She stood there, black, and ominous, with massive pillars
towering in front, and devilish gothic trimmings everywhere, all overgrown with
dank moss, ivy, and tangleweed. It all smelled of death and decay. "Dogs ears!", said
Dimwor as we stood just outside the tall reeds in front of the massive mansion,
Dammy if the deuce emself ain't a resident here. We all shuddered, "Come Bard!"
I said trying to be upbeat, "Lets have something cheery, for battle!" We all
chimed in for a rousing battle hymn, and the magic of Yor's music enveloped,
and enchanted us. Dimwor smashed the front door down and a blast of foul air
flew out and choked us soundly. When we caught our breath and looked up. A ghoulish
fiend decked out as a man-servant fell upon us! Dimwor threw me to the front,
Strike em lad, and give no quarter! he shouted,...I held the the creature at
bay while Yor, and Dimwor assisted from behind. We fell the beast, and made our way
inwards, towards the pantry, where Dimwor said, the trap door to the basement could
be found, and therein, our devil trolls. The house was as forbidding within, as
without, and every fiber of your body screams at you to run, far, and fast. The
air was poisonous and stifling on the bottom floor. The basement,...when we
at last arrived was barely tolerable. Dimwor was a determined and merciless
sergeant at arms. We had to beg and plead with him at times to let us sleep,
which he would have none of. At best he allowed us to sit and have a rest for a
few hours, before we were back up again, in the damp recesses of the basement.
Sometimes chilling cold to the bone, sometimes, when near the furnace, blazing
heat like hell fire. We had taken about 5 trolls, and a good heaping amount
of treasure before we decided to make tracks back to the river and head for home.
I was then thinking of joining Herald, and mentioned to Dimwor that, if I
made it home alive, and was accepted, he might read of our exploits on day.
He expressed contempt an the notion, "Scribes penning tales of troll hunting?
With all the other important doings in Thera? That'll be the day,...If you do
so you'd have to be the most tired, bored man in all the realms...."
But as you can see, the story has been told to all. Who ever knew that a simple
adventure to the Mansion of the Malevolent could be so interesting and adventurous!
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